Refection Pool

Why this? Why now?


“Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?”

~ Leonardo da Vinci

I woke up this morning fully inspired to write about one topic but at my fingers started typing, other ideas have decided to emerge. Time to do what we do best, deal with the hand that we have been dealt.

Next week, I will be completing my 42nd trip around the sun and just yesterday, I successfully passed my first ever test in Taekwondo. If you had asked me earlier this year or at any point in my life, I would have told you there is no way in hell I would even join such an exercise or discipline. I had a solid list of reasons ready and I will share some of these with you.

Reasons for why NOT to engage:

  • Confusing the sense of excitement for panic
  • But I am too old
  • My work life is too demanding
  • I barely have enough me time
  • I will lose my sense of freedom
  • I will lose my autonomy to do as I please
  • Really, what if I suck and the situation is completely hopeless

I chuckle and shake my head now as I read over this list that is so generic that it might as well be called – why not try to learn/master something new in life. Clearly, at some point of this internal dialog, I won the battle. It took a couple of counter questions “Why the sudden interest? Why now?”

That is when the gates of resistance morphed into the windows of opportunity.

Taekwondo classes weren’t easy at first. I need to rephrase this. None of the classes are easy but at some point, your self confidence blasts through the stratosphere and the rest is gravy from that point on.

Impressions of my first class:

  • I am going to die: time check reveals it is just 5 minutes into the warm up.
  • So my hand needs to move fluidly while my leg shifts: all this hand/foot coordination business; my brain is exploding. Remember, Meena you learned how to walk and took a lot of hand/foot coordination. You got this!
  • I do have autonomy and choice: I can chose to leave all of life’s distractions at the doorstep of the do-Jang and for one hour become one with an equally dedicated group of individuals.

Yes, my hands and feet do move almost non-stop it seems like through out the class. My mindset and my energy shifts as well. Despite my leaving life’s distractions at the front door, I will suddenly be gifted with an AHA! of insight and then I can’t resist the smile that spreads across my face.

I never expected that to have come from the simple commitment of showing up and following through by doing my best. Practice is a pathway to perfection and even though I am still early on that trailhead, the breadcrumbs I need to follow are there. For that one hour, simply being in the flow in order to become part of the harmony of the collective.

We laugh, we make mistakes, we laugh even more. We focus, we encourage, we support. It is truly a joy to see someone overcome their personally challenging techniques. Their victory becomes our victory. You then know, as part of this collective, only good will come.

I am not sure where you are at in your own personal dialog of why not. Remember the two counter questions at your disposal “Why this? Why now?” Leave me a note and let me know what new thing/activity/practice you have decided to take on.



One thought on “Why this? Why now?

  1. Hey Meena,
    I really enjoyed the Concealed Carry poem and the Lend Me Your Senses poem.

    I very much enjoyed the absurdity, the riskiness, the societal motifs of Concealed Carry. Very unique, and it is rare for me to experience a fresh voice in a poem! Thanks for writing!


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